PART 1- DONE
The next weeks seemed to send the townsfolk into a flurry of activity as they started preparing the village for the upcoming winter while I continued to try and find ways to fit in. At home, with my uncle’s kingdom mostly set within an elaborate caving system we did not have the same sorts of challenges to consider. Firewood and food supplies were typically what the people of Mirkwood considered for winter preparations. Here in Ubbin Falls there were those things… but so much more as well. Every building had to be inspected and any necessary repairs and fortifications had to be made before the first snow fall would happen of the season. At least that was the goal. This included homes but also the pens and structures that animals would be housed in. It seemed that both the humans and the elves all realized that it was important to accomplish these things for the community as a hole, not just their one small part of it.
Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, for me I had a household staff that could see to these things for me. It was certainly a relief not to have to worry about such things. However, it did leave me with quite a bit of free time on my hands when everyone else in the village seemed to be far more preoccupied. It left me too much time to reflect on the fact that I had been gone from my home for months and I had not had a word from neither my mother nor my uncle in all that time. Of course, months was a trifling small amount of time in the grand scheme of an elf’s lifespan… still, it was the first time I had been away from Mirkwood for such a long time. It was the first time I did not have my mother hovering around watching me, monitoring me, preparing me for the inevitable. Or my uncle’s stern gaze landing on me for similar reasons
It was the first time I started to realize that my time at Ubbin Falls presented me with my very first opportunity to experience a little bit of freedom. And what had I been doing with that freedom? Squandering it away being stuffy and standoffish. Maybe it was time I started to lighten up some? Attend one of those famous Turgon parties for a bit of dancing? Humans would no doubt be in attendance. Or maybe I could stop by a tavern that so many townsfolk frequent for an ale? But just the thought of either of those made my cheeks flush. I would not know where to start… or what to do… or who to do things with. And I am certain that my uncle would be extremely perturbed or more so annoyed should he hear of my going to the human establishments. But then... why send me to a town that was half human?
Frustratingly, I tried to think of more sensible ways to make use of my free time. These other things were completely pointless fantasies to consider. Freedom or no freedom, I just was not sure that I was capable of letting myself go enough to enjoy such frivolous activities. My world was about structure and composure and proper etiquette. It was what I had been sent her to remember, not to get pulled in the other direction.
Feeling unsettled by my sudden strange longing I decided I would go for a bath. The days had become so chilly that I imagined that the water could possibly douse all those ridiculous notions from my mind. I jerked a long thick cape over my muslin shift and headed out. I had no idea where Gilly had gotten herself off to, likely out harassing some more of the young ones in town.
After wandering through the forest and the path that led to the little secluded spot I bathed in regularly now, I disrobed and was just gripping the hem of my shift when I heard a splash that made me look up. Just in time to see a body break the surface of the water a short distance away. I froze. He hadn’t noticed me yet as his back was towards the riverbank, but I knew instantly who it was. Perhaps it was the sheen of his long pale hair or the size of the muscles rippling in his shoulders and back, or maybe it was just because of my purely bad luck that I would stumble upon HIM in this situation, but Hallas was unmistakable. I continued to stand motionless, watching him, unable to tear my gaze away. He looked as if he were standing on the bottom now, the water splashing lighting against his midriff while he brushed his fingers over his arms and torso, apparently down here for the same reason as I. I did not move the entire time and my mind definitely wandered as his hands disappeared beneath the surface while I imagined what he must be doing. I blushed. And it was in that precise moment that he suddenly spun around and made eye contact. Then he frowned.
“What are you doing?” He asked unwelcomingly. I hesitated. He continued to watch, waiting for a response. Another heartbeat passed, then another.
“Watching” I finally responded. And immediately I wondered why I had admitted that, in that quivering somewhat sultry way. He arched a brow then his eyes seemed to shift down as he took in my attire.
“And you were planning to join me?” He smirked
“I… I did not know you were here…”
“Well… now you do. I imagine it is time for you to run off and hide again... so do not let me stop you” and with that he turned away. He did not appear to actually do anything, just seemed to be refusing to look in my direction. And oddly enough, his dismissal made me feel as if he were completely unaffected by my presence and made me feel utterly foolish about how out of control my body felt whenever I was near him. Stubbornly, I elevated my chin and determined that I could be just as indifferent and unconcerned about him. He was completely undeserving of my attention. Pressing my lips together I determined I would do what I came to do and just ignore him.
Of course, I was not going to be completely delusional about proprieties sake, I kept my shift on and would just maneuver my hands under it once I was in the safety and cover of the water. Unfortunately, as soon as I stepped determinedly into the river, I gasped at the frigid temperature drawing his gaze again. He narrowed his eyes and I looked away as I rushed the rest of the way into the water, shivering as I did so. The only issue was that as soon as I was waist deep, the bottom of the thin material got snatched and tangled around my legs and I stumbled. The soap slipped from my hand and was suddenly felt underfoot causing me to go sailing with my arms wailing wildly as I tried to regain my balance… but it was no use. Like a big dullard I went splattering backwards, my head submerging into the rapidly flowing water after my legs slipped out from under me. I choked and gargled as I struggled to get back on my feet and I was certain I was just about there when my whole body was jerked unceremoniously up and hauled back to a standing position. I sputtered and gasped while brushing my now stringy hair away from my face.
“All you had to do is ask… no need to kill yourself to get my hands on you” I gasped at his crude words and I squirmed but doing that only accentuated the fact that his hands were indeed on me, holding my waist, keeping me from slipping or tumbling back into the spirited river once more. And after looking up at him I became immediately aware of a few more things. That it was more than just his hands touching me, my body was pressed up against his, his thighs, his pelvis, his chest… in fact my nipples were straining painfully hard against my dress… making the fabric dimple over each perky nub. I shivered, and I could not honestly admit whether it was from the cold of the water or the feel of his hard powerful… and naked… body mashed up against me.
“I cannot ask” I suddenly whisper, my voice sounding low and raspy to my own ears. He looked confused but he did not move or release me.
“Why is that?”
I blushed and he definitely picked up on it. His interest in the unguarded emotion was very obvious in the look he gave me.
“Because…” I say shakily but hesitate to say more. He seemed to be waiting for more... for whatever excuse I would offer, but fear wedged further words in my throat. I should be turning away, escaping… there was nothing good that could come out of this situation. But instead I spoke… even softer than before, “… I am not supposed to want you”
Seconds ticked by “But you do…” was his retort… I blushed furiously because he already guessed. But I did not back away, I did not try to escape. I shivered again, but this time I knew it was because of him and nothing to do with the river. I nodded my head silently, slowly. “Say it…” he demanded after taking my chin between two of his fingers and tilting my head so that I was forced to look him in the eye. Again, I shivered, harshly. He wanted to hear the words and he was not looking like he would accept anything less. I wished he would just kiss me and stop with all the talking.
I hesitated again afraid to let the words spill out of me. But when he moved to step back, refusing to take any action towards me without those words, without my admission... I reached out, wrapping my slender fingers around his wrist and choked out “I do…”
It was his turn to freeze. And the look in his face was a mixture of surprise and arrogance. Looking like he knew it but never expected that I would actually admit to it… or having had resigned himself to knowing that I never would. His gaze trailed over my face, down my neck, across my breasts as they rose and fell softly over the surface of water we still stood within. My shift hugged each mound, sculpted them in thin fabric leaving very little to the imagination. Then he looked back at my face, into my eyes. Yet he did not step closer nor did he make any effort to ease the tension that stretched out between us. He used the awkward emotions he could read in me with yet another demand… “say it all…” I blushed harder staring up at him, holding on to him… keeping him from moving away when he had given every indication that he would. If I just let him go, he would let me go… would not try to keep me from leaving. He would let me run away, again. A pulse jolted deep into the pit of my stomach and between my legs.
“I want you” I whispered and yet he still hesitated.
“Right here?”
“Yes…”
“Right now?”
I whimpered hard again and nodded my head, “yess Hallas… right here, right now. I want you… pleease”
And before I knew it, he grabbed me by the waist and dragged me roughly to him again while mashing his lips against mine. I responded frantically, wrapping my arms around his neck and thrusting my tongue into his mouth. I could feel him grinding against me but then he swept my legs over one of his arms and carried me to the riverbank, our lips still locked together. I groaned deeply as I was settled to the moist ground then whimpered when he pulled back. He gripped and yanked the soaked fabric off my body. When I lay there naked, he paused, his eyes feasting on the sight of me, seeming to devour me with his eyes before I begged again, pleading with him to come to me. And he did, stretching out his breathtakingly beautifully chiseled body over mine.
He was not patient nor gentle, not that first time. He claimed me, hard, fast and deep, until I had my arms and legs wrapped around him in desperation. My nails sunk into the flesh of his back as I started to convulse violently before I screamed out his name in uncontrollable passion as we both climaxed at the same time.
He collapsed over me, our bodies both wet and sweaty from the savage mating, and I trembled as his warm breath blew against my neck while he panted. I could still feel him buried inside of me, throbbing and it made me whimper… it made me grind against him. Ever so slowly I felt him stir his hips against me and I moaned heatedly.
“Such a greedy ice princess” he purred while he stroked his hand down and fingered my mound just above where he was still in me. I gasped violently and jerked against him not even having a second to be offended by the taunting name calling while his lips brushed against my ear… “you want more…?”
And I shook, my toes curled, and I nodded my head as I continued to gyrate against him. Suddenly he pulled away from my neck and his face was hovering over mine. He could see every expression, every feeling that was rolling through me, desire, need, longing. His eyes locked with mine and very clearly, he hissed “I cannot hear you…”
I could feel myself contracting around his shaft, squeezing it as I gazed at him and he grinned, wickedly, enticingly. Nothing seemed to matter in those minutes in that secret, quiet place with my body wrapped around his. “I want you Hallas… again… now please”
He grinned, arrogantly as his fingers began to stroke and tease me again. He took his time the second time that afternoon, slowly unfurling every sensation that I could probably experience on that grassy bank. With exquisite torturous perfection he strung me up like I was his bow, tightening each notch within me, every nerve and muscle in my body pulled taut before expertly he released me, sending me soaring high before I came down violently hard.
It was some hours later that I came stumbling back home, sore and exhausted but completely sated.
PART 2 - DONE
It was nearly a week later before I saw him again. In that time, I had been torn between feelings of uneasy anxiety and shameful excitement over what I had done. Over what I had let happen and what I wanted to happen again. Every night, every morning… all throughout the day I would be assaulted with the memories of laying with Hallas. Again. I had done this before, in Mirkwood, after we lain together. But before, it was different. I could easily push him into a compartment in my head, tucked away as that one hidden night… that one little secret that would never happen again. I had not known him, not even his name. He was just a handsome stranger I could remember with fond memories of a glorious night. But now, he was bigger, bolder, invasive.
It was not supposed to happen. It should not have happened. But I literally begged for it, for him. And he had given me exactly what I wanted, and more. I shivered again picturing him, us… I wanted him even more now. And I blushed profusely. This was not what I was sent to Ubbin Falls for. I should be spending time reflecting on my failures, figuring out ways to push these wayward and unacceptable behaviors away instead of embracing them. I was here being punished for putting my family in a bad position. And an affair with Hallas was not likely to be celebrated.
There would be no praise from my mother or uncle over this behavior. They would more likely be confused or disgusted, or both. I was a high elf of Mirkwood, I should carry myself with poise and confidence and grace… never ever deferring to those that they would deem lesser than me. If they ever knew of my activities how much worse could things get for me? I still had not heard from either of them this entire time of my exile. I had no idea just how much longer I would be stuck here in Ubbin Falls. Days… weeks… it could even be years before I was allowed to return home. And now that I had given in to temptation, just months into my exile… how could I find a way to regain some control over my life, to get things back on track so that I could earn my families trust and respect back?
I was contemplating these thoughts heavily as I exited the bakery, a wrapping of perfectly made lembas bread gripped in my palm when I literally stumbled into him. He caught me easily and shamefully my body immediately responded. Thankfully, the heavy silken robe I wore covered the most obvious response at my chest, and he was quick to set me back a pace after I was fully stable. All respectably positioned should anyone notice us speaking in the middle of the town street. I should have noticed his courteous effort to maintain a distance between us, but I barely considered it. Immediately my eyes roamed over him, drifting down his body, remembering every inch of his nakedness mentally and my breath caught before I blushed hotly. The most deliciously impure thoughts raced through my mind. I am certain that I raised my gaze within seconds, but it was obvious where my mind had gone, at least that is what it appeared when I looked back into his face. He looked arrogant… smug. My pulse raced.
“The little wood elf has come out of her hidey-hole…” His voice sounded smoother, more taunting than it had any time before. It was because all I could think about is what happened at the river. Things between us had changed. The images were fresh, I knew him know… he was no longer just some nameless memory. He was right there, in reaching distance. And I wanted to touch. I blushed again.
“I have not been hiding” I challenged elevating my chin, trying to appear calm and collected while daring him to doubt me.
“Good” He did not take the bait. Instead he watched me closely, his eyes fixed on mine while he uttered his next words in such a soft, confident and blunt manner “it is too late for all of that now anyway.” It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and tingles raced down my spine.
Was it too late? I wanted to say he was wrong. That I could go back to ignoring him. Go back to not wanting him. But I knew instantly that both of those were a lie. If I was being incredibly honest, I had never been able to ignore him… and… I could not rightfully remember when I did not want him. He unnerved me, made me anxious and worried and confused. But I wanted him. I wanted to touch him and taste him. I seemed incapable of not blushing that day and I noticed that his eyes darkened in response to my obvious reaction to his presence. The distance between us seemed mildly frustrating.
“I suppose you are right” I finally whispered, acknowledging agreement, admitting that I wanted to… or maybe needed to continue what we had started. His nostrils flared. I got the feeling he did not expect me to agree or admit to anything. My pulse continued to hammer violently while we stood respectfully apart. He suggested a meeting that night and it didn’t even take me longer than a breath to agree. Again, there was a brief second of surprise before that arrogant grin was back in place. He gave me the when and where before he strolled away off to tend to whatever activities filled his day. And I spent the remainder of the day considering what foolishness I was playing at. Hallas was completely inappropriate for me. I reminded myself, for what seemed like the millionth time since running into him again here in Ubbin Falls that nothing good could come of a dalliance with him. And I spent the hours before our scheduled rendezvous reconsidering the insanity that had gripped me in agreeing to meet him.
But none of that seemed to make even a hint of a difference in the end. I wantonly, shamefully, defiantly went to him. And I kissed him and touched him… and I lay with him. I submitted to the desire that raged in me… the temptation became my obsession. Without intending I became plagued with this unyielding urgency to experience and explore this aspect of my hidden world. And so that night turned into another, then another, and another… until over the course of the next few weeks I completely lost count of the number of times that I gave in and succumbed to the blissful release I found at his hand… and mouth… and… more. And Hallas seemed perfectly willing… and able… to make me completely and utterly lose my mind when I lay within his arms. Completely and utterly ignoring my responsibilities… not thinking of my duty… my honor… my loyalty. Nothing else in the whole realm seemed to matter.
Then after we were spent, laying there drained and panting we sometimes spoke softly about our lives. He would tell me about his travels, and I would be amazed really at how far he had gone and the things that he experienced. And I would talk about Mirkwood, the woods, growing up there and how much I loved the place. He admitted that he had a sibling once but did not elaborate more about his family, and I told him that Gilly was the only friend I had growing up. He laughed at me thinking I were joking… exaggerating. I let him think so. But that was how things went, for a while. We would spend stolen hours together, hidden in the forest usually and just enjoying the physical attraction that we had for the other before we would each sneak back to our homes, or wherever it was that he went off to afterwards. He indeed had become my dirty little secret and I was finding that I was liking it quite a lot.
********
Several weeks later, early in the day while I was still at home, I was informed that I had a visitor and immediately my thoughts turned to Hallas. And after I rushed down to greet that visitor, I had to admit inwardly that I had a jolt of uncalled for disappointment seeing Elernil standing there. He smiled graciously, politely and I quickly recovered to do the same. What foolishness had me imagining that Hallas would show up to my home in the middle of the day. And had me feeling excited about it? That would have been the worst possible thing that could have happened.
I invited him to refreshments and he gladly accepted. While a servant set out a small display of beverage and fruits Elernil sat calmly and patiently. He was in no rush, his manners were impeccable and he looked incredibly handsome in a brilliant robe of blue and gold.
“Thank you for accepting an unanticipated visit, I should have sent word, but it had been a while since I had seen you and well… the urge to visit was rather unexpected”
I nodded my head not giving anything away. I could hardly fault him for giving in to a sudden emotional action. Considering my behavior of the last weeks him visiting unexpectedly paled in comparison.
“There is no need to apologize, though I am curious what prompted the thought? Is there something that I can do to assist with some project you have going for the town?”
He seemed a little surprised by my query. “I… well not exactly. The truth of the matter is that I just wanted to see you.” He admitted without hedging. “and I wanted to check in on you, make sure that you are comfortable and getting all of the things that you need to enjoy your stay in Ubbin Falls.”
I was the one surprised now, but I hoped that I kept that from showing. I attempted to smile graciously while I took a cup of tea from the table and sipped delicately. The fact that I had been perhaps enjoying myself entirely too much here in Ubbin Falls was forefront in my mind.
“I am finding that there are plenty of amusements to be found in your town Elernil. I cannot complain about how I spend my time.” The fact that I flushed as I said those words seemed to be lost on him.
“That is wonderful to hear. Perhaps you will allow me to encroach on some of your spare time?”
“What is it that you have in mind?”
“I have spent the day roasting and hoped I could entice you to come sup with me this evening at my home?”
“You are set to have an impromptu gathering? It would likely be refreshing for some of the elves after the weeks of nothing but work on securing their homes and such for the upcoming season.”
“Um, well no. Not exactly. There would just be the two of us at this dinner” I am certain that I did not keep the surprise from my gaze. “It is nothing formal, just a good meal… between new friends, but I admit that I do have a curiosity and would like to have an opportunity to learn more about you and Mirkwood as well”
I few moments passed where I hesitated while he waited patiently for my response. He did not seem anxious or urgent. He was perfectly respectable. Eventually, I accepted his invitation. He was pleased but not overly emotional about it. He smiled pleasantly and gave me a time that I should arrive before excusing himself to go make additional preparations.
After he left and I did my own preparations for the evening I could not help but wonder how that evening would play out. Then I began to worry about it. What if I made a huge embarrassment of myself in front of the Lord of Ubbin Falls? My uncle would surely hear of it, become further disappointed in me. And why would Elernil wish to dine with me? He barely knew me… we had barely spoken, mostly in passing. Shared one single dance at his festival. In the hours before arriving at his home I had worked myself into quite a state of uncertainly and anxiety over how my behavior would be judged. It was odd, that considering the bevy of emotions that rioted in me when I was around Hallas, never once did I feel as if he might judge me. This apprehension I felt, arriving at Elernil’s home, felt so reminiscent of home. As I was ushered in, a heavy weight seemed to form in the pit of my stomach expecting to be assessed and judged on my looks, my composure, the way I spoke, the words I used…
A slight bit of relief filled me as Elernil greeted me instead of one of his servants. And true to his word, he was dressed respectably but quite informally. I was put to further ease when he led me to a small but elegant room with a decorated small round table instead of some huge elaborate dining hall. It was quite beautiful, charming and cozy.
And the evening was enjoyable. I found out that Elernil was a tremendous cook as he laid out a delicious meal for us to share. And while he was completely refined and cultivated the conversation was effortless and entertaining. There was a very brief discussion about the city’s watch disappearance from the village, it had become quite the topic of conversation with some of the locals. But he assured me that all was well and that he expected them back within a few days. He quickly turned the conversation towards art and literature and music, all of which he was completely proficient and knowledgeable about, impressing me greatly. It had been months since I had someone to discuss scholarly works with. Then he shared a little about his past, telling about his time living in Lindon and about his visit to Rivendell and meeting the Lady Galadriel. It was pretty obvious that he held her in high esteem, and I could not help but smile in response to the way his face lit up as he talked about his work in Ubbin Falls. I had already gathered how proud he was of it in the times that we had spoken before but perhaps it was something about the privacy of that setting that made him seem so much more comfortable and unguarded as we spoke.
“And what about you Meluines? I think that most people only know of your uncle’s reputation outside of Mirkwood, but even I had no idea he had a niece… or of your beauty and grace until you arrived here.” I found myself surprised by his compliment. Maybe I should not have been, but Elernil had been nothing but genteel courtesy all evening and I had been convinced that he was just being friendly to another noble. The very esteemed and amiable Lord. But suddenly I was struck with the impression that perhaps this dinner was meant as more than just a good meal between new friends. I imagined throughout the progression of the evening that he just had a genuine curiosity about other elven lifestyles and how other villages were run. His prose regarding Rivendell and its Lady had me convinced of this. Was he now flirting? I blushed slightly and he smiled softly in return making me suspect that he may be very aware of the thoughts that were suddenly being tossed around in my head. But maybe I was imagining it all.
“Mirkwood is beautiful… and, I do not know about why you have never heard of me. I suppose it has a lot to do with my uncle’s estranged relationship with the world outside of our home…” I tried to focus on the less intimate comments. I took a few moments to elaborate more about Mirkwood, about Thranduil’s Grand Cave and Halls… and Elernil sat silently, seeming to appreciate my own awe of the place that I have loved and lived all my life.
“Is it true he is against having visitors?”
“He prefers our own yes. Of course, we have elven travelers from time to time, whom he will be courteous with… although distant. And they very rarely stay for long. He would find this world quite unusual with such a variety of species residing in such proximity”
“Yes, even I find it odd at times. I have been in Ubbin Falls for a lot of years and have had to become somewhat accustom to having to live with the humans so nearby” he paused for a moment, watching me carefully before he added… “it is sometimes hard to imagine a more boisterous and flashy race…”
I considered his comment for a short time thinking of all the different activities and arrangements that must be made to include such a large diverse group of inhabitants. Laws and consequences for the individuals in town would need to be adjusted based on race, food, clothing, schooling… everything would need some type of adjusting to incorporate to two cultures. I could image the strain and difficulty this could cause for someone in charge of it all, “I am not sure I could get accustom to it. It is all just… so much more removed than what I am used to”
He seemed to smile a little brighter at my comment though I was not sure exactly which part of it pleased him. At any rate, he continued to chat about the town, probing for my opinion on what I enjoyed doing most in town and if there were other things that I would like to participate in or explore other than the forest. Once more I blushed and absolutely kept my most regular pastime out of the conversation.
When I announced that I should be heading home at the end of the evening Elernil insisted that he would see me there. After stepping outside of his home, he placed my arm through his and escorted me in a very gentlemanly fashion. I could not at any point throughout the night complain about his behavior or his demeaner. He had never raised his voice or given any lewd or crude comments about my person. There were no lecherous looks. He was completely and utterly appropriate. On my doorstep he tanked me for an enjoyable evening, even leaned in to place a very chaste and sweet kiss upon my cheek before he courteously murmured goodnight before leaving. He was everything that a noble high-born elf should dream of.
Yet why did I wake from a very potent and raunchy dream of another elf that night… an totally inappropriate, completely arrogant, hot-headed, chaotically emotional elf who rarely showed anything close to good, decent manners?
*******
The night after my evening with Elernil I slipped out of the house and made my way to the forest. The moon shone brightly and the weather had turned sharply colder, but I could not be bothered to think about that. I was extremely lusty and panicky after a night of fitful and worrisome sleep, so when I found him, I did not mince words. Our coupling was savage and raw, without words or foreplay. I needed it that way, no thoughts, no cautions or responsibility or duty or honor or any of those things that hung over my head. He was more than accommodating, gripping my hips as I was impaled over his lap, guiding me ruthlessly into a turbulently euphoric release that had me reeling. Then he turned the tables, shoving me to the hard frozen ground and mercilessly draining every ounce of pleasure through every nerve of my body. A gut wrenching, throaty cry tore from my lips as I shattered in rapturous waves under his skillfully exquisite touch.
Then I lay there panting and dazed. My eyes drifted closed for a moment as he gathered me into his arms and dragged my cloak over my body. I was especially exhausted and rather unguarded by that time. And as I lay there, brushing my fingers slowly across the curves and ridges of his rugged muscles I wickedly suggested that it was his fault that my marriage had broken up.
“You have been married?” I felt him tense up under me, my head resting on his chest and while I continued slowly teasing his torso I giggled softly at his response. I taunted and provoked him further about how he ruined me that first time we were together at my own wedding announcement party. I could not rightly say what had me suddenly feeling so playful… or outspoken. Why was I sharing these thoughts? It made little sense after the way I had arrived, but I was too sated to consider what had driven me earlier. Of course, Hallas had known what the party was for, he had been there at a noble’s wedding announcement, but somehow, he had not put together the thought that it had been for me. He seemed confused and a little bit vexed, although I was not exactly sure what had him so particularly stern and foreboding.
“So… you are engaged… still?” Giggling again, I had to point out that I was teasing and trying to be amusing, causing him to relax slightly but he still seemed extremely stiff and cautious under me. I hesitated. We were both enjoying what we had going on, simple pure lust. Nothing more. Before that night we had not shared more than a few tales of adventure. I knew very little about him, and in truth all he knew about me is where I came from and the rumors he knew of my uncle. But that night I shared a little more, finally admitting out loud, to someone else my views about marriage. Somberly I announced that marriage was a trap and only produced heartache. I admitted to how I had used him to escape that night, to forget what I was being forced into. Then I hesitated again. I understood that I was still using him, finding a way to escape my mental ponderings by indulging in physical recklessness. He did not probe but I could tell that he was still listening, waiting, curious. Finally, after moments of silence I continued, telling him about the night I was destined to marry and how I ran away and hid for days. How I had been sent to Ubbin Falls for my failure to do my proper duty. Oddly enough that seemed to make his body slacken under me and he started twirling a piece of my hair between his fingers.
“For an ice princess… you are a bit of a coward” he taunted after a while. And I could not tell if he were attempting to tease me or chastise me. Unfortunately, I took it as the later. It was my turn to stiffen against him. “Why do you run away so much…?”
I pulled back. He did not try to stop me. In fact, he casually pulled his hands back behind his head and continued to lay there unconcerned on our makeshift earthy bed. But he watched closely, and I knew he could read the anger that was building up within me.
“Why are you such a pig” I spit out and started to rise, yanking up my dress and my robe and tugging them erratically onto my body. When I glanced at him, he was smirking. “I am not a coward”
“Yet… it appears you are about to run away again…”
“I am not running anywhere” I hissed but I did turn on my heel and started to walk calmly away. Despite my slower pace, I was certain that rage radiated from me with each step. The chuckle that erupted behind me did not at all help to sooth my current mood.
PART 3- DONE
A few days later chaos erupted in the city. Which suited my mood perfectly fine if the truth would be told. I was still suffering from a douse of erratic emotions over the final words I had shared with Hallas the last time we had been together. He called me a coward. And it hit me hard. Elves were not cowards. My uncle would be horrified to hear one of his own called so. I was horrified to be thought so. But in the darkness, late at night, alone in my bed… while I raged about his pompous stupid words, I would find myself thinking of how often I had hid away whenever I was upset about something. How often I avoided confrontation by either keeping my thoughts to myself or by actually physically disappearing from wherever trouble may be. Had I really grown to be a coward, or had it always been the case? I shook with both shame and fury as his words silently taunted me. Convinced me to acknowledge what everyone else must think when they look at me. Cowards were weak… inferior… pathetic. Everyone knew that. How had I become any of those things? Gilly became quite agitated in those nights, padding closer and trying to snuggle against me, no doubt trying to calm me as she had most of my life, any time I became nervous or scared. And the night I realized that particular point, looking down at her big round curious eyes nearly broke my heart. I was a coward, even my pet knew it.
So, when the city’s bells began to chime and there was suddenly a loud commotion outside, I determined to go investigate. But before I could pull the door open Carmagor appeared and blocked my passage. I frowned.
“What are you doing?” I demanded obviously annoyed
“I’m sorry Miss but I cannot let you out there, the city’s watch has returned and there has been some trouble”
I pressed my lips together tightly for all of one second before I ordered him to step aside. He stood motionless. In fact, seconds later I was surrounded by two other guards who all seemed intent of making sure that I did not leave.
“You work for me” I declared sternly while crossing my arms over my chest
“My apologies Miss, but we serve your uncle… and we have been tasked to ensure no harm comes to you”
Again, I pressed my lips together. This was beyond ridiculous. I had been coming and going as I pleased for well over three months now… but today they wished to perform their duties? When I voiced as much, Carmagor confidently informed me that his men had regularly done checks on the villages security and vulnerabilities to ensure that I had never been in any danger while within the town’s limits and the nearby forest. The perimeter was secure… until now. He also informed me, rather evasively, that the individuals that I usually kept company with while wandering about town were well known and capable warriors. He did not elaborate, he did not even look directly at me but instead stood perfectly erect, looking extremely dignified and respectful. But immediately I got the notion that he… and maybe the rest of his men, were all too aware of where and with whom I spent most of my free time. I blushed. Any other day, I think that I would have retreated, gone back to my room and hide from such exposure and embarrassment. Today, however, I pulled myself up straighter. I would not relent.
“You are welcome to attend with me then if you insist, but I am going. With or without your escort, one way or another” The look of surprise on his face was a boon to my ego and I felt proud of myself when he hesitated. But then he looked as if he were setting himself up for a fight as well. I could see it in his eyes that he would still deny me. Instead of allowing him to get ahead of me I added quite firmly “and unless you plan on explaining to my uncle why I broke my neck climbing out of a window because you refused me the use of the door then I suggest you step aside”
Poor Carmagor looked conflicted but as he looked down at me he must have seen my determination. Finally, after minutes of a standoff he gave in. He nodded his head at one of the other elves that had stepped forward and he stepped aside. But he was fast on my heels, as was Gilly, the moment I stepped outside and neither of them ever strayed from that position as I stalked my way down the lane towards a huge crowd that had gathered.
The scene that greeted me was more confusing that I had expected. The city’s watch had indeed returned, and they were looking rather ragged and exhausted. There were obvious signs that they had run into a struggle of some sort, looking dirty, with disheveled or downright torn clothing, some bandaged or in worse wounded conditions. It was shocking to behold. There were also a group of strangers trailing behind them, also looking haggard and battered. Carmagor stepped past me to walk to one of the watchers in an effort to gain further information while I listened in on the conversation of the townspeople, gaining little more information as everyone seemed just as perplexed and agitated as I was feeling. Gilly had taken off and it took a moment before I spotted her nudging little Yaban who sat quietly and far more reserved than normal on the outside of the crowd.
As I stood there, the Lord and Lady of Ubbin Falls arrived, both seeming to make an effort to calm their own people, seeking to sooth our anxiety and confusion though they shed little light on the situation either. Then my eyes caught sight of Hallas, he appeared to be in discussion with Orophin and a human I was unfamiliar with. But all of them looked incredibly serious. Then I realized that Hallas had spotted me, our eyes locked. But he did not offer his usual smirk. In fact, if I could be any judge in the matter, he looked concerned. But that could not be correct. Hallas did not care about anything beyond his own pride and ego. Seconds later I realized that Orophin had turned his gaze towards me as well and seemed to be noticing the looks that passed between Hallas and myself. I blushed once more and was thankful that my attention was drawn back to Elernil who had just approached.
“Meluines… maybe you would feel more comfortable at home at a time like this? Things, I am sorry to say, are quite edgy at the moment and I would feel so much more relieved if you were safe…”
I had initially started to offer a polite smile, quite naturally, when approached but his frown and then his words doused any kind feelings I had right out of me. I found myself once more pressing my lips together and standing ramrod straight as I lifted my chin and stared up at him. He would treat me as a pathetic weakling as well it seemed.
“I must assume Sir that with all these warriors and other townspeople gathered around I should be quite safe from harm. Or are you suggesting that someone here is a threat?”
“I… no, of course not, I just… things are a bit hectic and unsettled at the moment. I was only thinking of your sensibilities, of course no one here would dare to harm you I am sure”
“That is good to hear. I assure you that my sensibilities are quite settled and secure at the moment. What has happened?”
He looked hesitant, anxious as he looked me over then started to dart his eyes around and gazed over the crowd having me interested in following suit.
“There was an attack at a village not far from here. We hoped that our city’s watch would be useful in securing and protecting the place, but it seems that the assault was more intense that we had anticipated”
I was speechless for a moment as my heart raced. An assault. I glanced back to him. “What sort of attack?” I sounded breathless in my own ears. His words seemed to indicate something far more serious than giant spiders from the woodlands. My stomach coiled into a knot waiting… he took his time, again hesitating as if he thought about keeping the truth from me. Finally, he looked directly at me.
“It is orcs… a huge orc army is traveling down and towards our village”
My eyes widened in surprise. Orcs? It had been centuries since they were active and daring to make any sort of bold move against the elves or men of middle earth.
“We will begin work on fortifying the city walls, preparing homes and increasing warrior training… and those townsfolk that have the ability…” While Elernil looked calm and maintained his poise I could tell that he was truly worried. This village meant everything to him, I knew that from our talks. Of course he would be concerned about it. But then he took one of my hands into his and continued speaking… “I promise we will be able to protect you…” he paused, “all of you of course…”
I felt patronized. He was clearly pointing out my inability to be helpful at a time when the town would be threatened. Insinuating a frailty and inferiority in me regarding this matter.
“Do you know how long we have before they arrive?” I asked calmly, hesitating to betray the thoughts that were rambling around inside of my head. “I have a household full of warriors that could join in the training and preparations…”
“We do not… the watch have just returned, and they have some refugees with them…” Elernil was still gripping my hand in his as if trying to reassure me. I was offended but kept my thoughts to myself, as usual. “We will hold a council meeting and discuss what we shall do. But your offer sounds exactly what we will need to get through this… I assure you Meluines, you will not come to harm in my city.”
It was pretty obvious that Elernil had no idea how much his words disturbed me. Or perhaps he took my response as a form of fear and anxiety over the anticipated attack. But while I was fearful, absolutely, there was a rage inside of me over that fear. An embarrassment and frustration that bubbled up knowing that everyone in this city likely considered me helpless. Regretfully, I had done nothing, could do nothing to speak of which would contradict that assumption. He finally released my hand after announcing that he must see to making arrangements for the council meeting but promised to check in with me as soon as possible. As soon as he strolled away, I turned towards Carmagor and ordered him to return to the manor and collect the rest of my guard. They were to check with the watch to see how they could be of use. The tall elf hesitated before giving a brief nod and doing as he was told.
Then I stood there, silently just watching everyone’s uneasiness send them into action. Parents were gathering their children, ushering them into homes, while the fighters were all gathering their weapons speaking with the blacksmith and setting up training schedules. Other people were being assigned tasks, to secure homes and other buildings, or armor repairs, or ensuring that food supplies were stocked. They were all tasks that the townsfolk had been working on for weeks already but there was an urgency… a fearfulness that had them rushing into action that day. The group of refuges were led to the healer’s home, I supposed to be looked after but some of those men seemed determined to make their way to the warriors of Ubbin Falls. They looked ready to join the ranks despite their haggard appearances. They wanted to be part of the fight as did several other non-warrior townies. I understood their longing. But of course, no one doubted their ability or their courage. Immediately, all of those people were gathered together and discussions about how to separate them into training groups took place. I was certain that if I stepped over, announced I wanted to fight, everyone would just laugh at me. Instead I left, mentally determined to find a way to be useful despite what they all might think.
*******
It had taken me a couple days to decide what I would do but once I decided I put myself into action. It was just my luck that I received another visit from Elernil just that day in his effort to ensure that I was being taken care of in this time of great stress and turmoil. I pretended to be thankful for his concern and asked him about the preparations underway. He did not go into a lot of detail but when I continued to probe him, asking about the training and how everyone was dealing with all of that he began to talk more freely. At a point I convinced him to show me how new trainees were coming along and if they were progressing at the rate he hoped.
Elernil and I strolled, my arm tucked into his, through town to the training grounds, it was only the second time I had been to the location since arriving in town. The first had been the day of the tournament and at that time it had been packed with people and decorated for the festival. Now it was obviously a place of hard work… elves and humans put themselves through strenuous practices. It should have been odd to me how my eyes immediately caught sight of Hallas. He was not facing me but I knew it was him, his body was imprinted in my mind. I watched as his muscles flexed when he drew his bow back to the edge of his cheek and held for what seemed a lifetime before he let loose then in a matter of seconds he shot off five more in rapid succession each one hitting the mark. I do not know when I started holding my breath but after the last one sunk in, I noticed the release of it and I remembered belatedly that I was still on Elernil’s arm.
“He has impressive skill, I wish more elves were as dedicated to the craft” He was saying as Hallas turned about and our eyes locked. I struggled to not respond to the way his eyes shifted down my body, it had been almost a week since I had been with him… but then within another couple seconds he finally noticed that I was not alone. Then Elernil was waving him over and my pulse began to race. This was not what I was hoping to have happen when I asked for the information on how new warriors were trained. Hallas sheathed his bow before taking his time to come to us.
“You are looking magnificent out there… you are to be commended…” Hallas nodded his head but did not seem at all to be overly gracious for the compliment, nor did he turn his gaze back towards me. “How are the trainees coming along?”
Hallas proceeded to give him a rundown of how preparations and training was going all the while Elernil continued to stand there with his hand resting on top of mine. I was feeling extremely awkward and uncomfortable. But Hallas seemed completely unconcerned. I caught sight of one of the guards from my home busily at practice and determined that it was the perfect excuse to worm my way out of this difficult situation. But as I spoke up between one pause in their conversation Elernil suddenly acknowledged my presence in the most humiliating way possible… at least in my opinion…
“Ohh… how rude of me… this is Meluines, she is here from Mirkwood for a while… I do not recall making the proper introductions before now…” he had been speaking to Hallas while continuing to hold my arm captive before turning to me he continued undeterred “Hallas here is our best archer some would say… as far as we all know he has been hunting and fighting all of his life. He spends most of his time being the superb warrior… I realize that you two would not run in the same crowds and I should have made the introductions immediately”
I looked over at Hallas and immediately could tell that he was not thrilled with the way Elernil had made the introduction. To me, it seemed as if Elernil was attempting to draw my attention to the fact that Hallas was nowhere near noble born. I was certain that it made me even more uncomfortable. And honestly… before Hallas called me a coward, it is likely I would have just silently nodded and acted as if nothing untoward had occurred. But there was already a bee in my bonnet because of my recent realization of how everyone viewed me… the sweet, unassuming, dainty, quiet, timid, weak little mouse.
“Actually, I have had the opportunity to meet Hallas on more than one occasion. In fact, I have known him since before I arrived in Ubbin Falls and I find him quite fascinating beyond his skills as a warrior. Unfortunately, those I have never had the opportunity to witness firsthand, but I have found that he dances remarkably well.” And with that I dislodged my arm and left them to complete their discussion while I pretended to preoccupy myself with one of my guards. But not before I notice the look of surprise on both elves faces.
PART 4 - DONE
No one seemed to notice when I snuck the small training dagger under my skirts that day at the training grounds. I had hoped to take note of the location and return at a quieter time but everyone was so preoccupied with their own activities that slipping the wooden knife was completely unremarkable. So I had taken it and had been biding my time for when I could sneak out and find a private place to attempt the use of it. Unfortunately, Carmagor seemed to be one step ahead of me nearly every single day. It literally took me about another three days before I finally managed to slip one of the guards notice and make my way into the forest.
And there, all alone, I made a complete fool of myself attempting to figure out how to hold and swing a dagger in a way that seemed intimidating and scary. More than once the sleeves of my gown got caught up in my swing and my skirts would get tangled around my legs. I even fell twice as I spun wildly in a very uncoordinated and unstable manner. I had just slapped my hands on the ground and yelled out softly in obvious frustration when I was interrupted.
“What in blazes are you trying to do?”
I gasped and jerked back, managing to fall back on my ass instead of my knees as I stared up at the laughing face staring back at me.
“What are you doing here?”
“I should be asking you the same question…” Orophin countered and crossed his arms over his chest still looking incredibly amused. I struggled up to my feet and huffed loudly.
“I am practicing if you must know” The way his brows shot up proved how disbelieving my comment was, and I was pretty sure it was not only because of what he knew about me but everything to do with what he had just witnessed.
“Practicing for what?”
“To fight” I said stubbornly, and his eyes shifted to the knife I held. Well... stick really but still... it was shaped like a knife.
“What are you planning to fight? A loaf of bread?” I pressed my lips together and he laughed again, clearly more than a little bit amused.
“Thank you for your input but I can do this on my own” I muttered bitterly. I was helpless, even I knew it. But I did not want to hear him confirm it too. “I am not a coward”
He was still grinning, but he stopped his out right laughter for a moment. “And who said you were…”
Without thinking I blurted out Hallas’ name, again in the most bitter tone while trying to ignore him and slash my arm through the air again only to have it come up under my sleeves once more in a ridiculous fashion.
“Did he now?” There was obvious curiosity in this tone that I ignored. Why had I admitted that? I should not have even mentioned the word coward. Now he also knew that his friend thought so too. I proceeded to try and stand in a way I had seen some of the swordsmen stand and tried again to lunge and swipe around.
“That is not a sword you are holding… why are you trying to weld it like one?” I frowned and glared at him. To which he chuckled again. “Well… at least that is an emotion instead of the boring cold looks you usually give”
“Shut up” I hissed and that made him even more jovial. “This is how everyone else holds their weapons…” I stated precisely trying to focus and ignore his laughing at me.
He stepped further into the clearing and walked over to where I was. “That is how a swordsman holds a sword. You have a knife… well… sort of” he murmured shaking his head as he gripped the piece of wood from my hand and inspected it. “A child’s toy…”
“I did not want to try and use a real blade until I had some knowledge of how to hold it properly” I admit softly.
“Which would be okay I suppose if you had someone to teach you how to do that. You are never going to hold it properly the way you are going about this…” suddenly he slipped a sharp dagger from his belt and twisted it so that the hilt was held out in my direction. I hesitated, suddenly worried about dropping the blade as I had done the wooden one more than a few times… or slashing against my arms or thighs…
“Why did Hallas call you a coward?” He suddenly asked and my gaze snapped up to his face at the reminder, anger filling me. He was watching and still holding the knife in my direction.
“He said I run away a lot” I spit out as I snatched the blade from him so rapidly that had he not been so quick with his reflexes I may have caused harm.
“Whoa there, that one isn’t wood” he chastised and immediately I apologized feeling foolish and nervous. I shook my head.
“This is dumb…” I muttered defeatedly.
“It’s not really. You want to be able to protect yourself if it comes to that…” When I looked back at him, I could see he was still smiling but it was more encouraging instead of amusement at my expense.
“I don’t want him…. I don’t want anyone to think I am a weak and pathetic”
“I am certain he… and no one else thinks that… you are made of icy stone as far as I have been able to determine…” he looked so serious suddenly that I wrinkled my nose and ended up chuckling softly.
“A rare thing that… why are you so stingy with your smiles” He asked making me feel awkward again. I continued to hold the knife and focused all of my attention to the weapon without speaking for a few seconds. He did not rush me but I could tell he was getting more curious by my hesitation. When I finally looked up I offered a delicate shrug but spoke up a little.
“I don’t mean to be so… cold… as you put it. I just, expressing emotions as you do is just so odd to me. You are very carefree Orophin”
He smirked again, “you said that there as if it were the worst thing imaginable” I blushed.
“I did not… urgh. I am not good at this sort of stuff… being entertaining was never something I had to do very often. I kind of grew up alone, with just my mother for company… and Gilly. My uncle…” I paused again looking away. My uncle would not approve of Orophin with his mixed blood. But I would not speak ill of my uncle and king “… my uncle is confident of what is right and what is wrong for his kingdom. He has high expectations of all of his people, but… being his niece… the standards are even higher””
“But he sent you here, surely he must expect you to socialize with others…”
Another pause greeted his comment. I traced the hilt of his dagger curious about the engraving as I considered what to say. “I am being punished… I have been banished until I earn forgiveness”
He scoffed then laughed out right. “Punished? What could you have possibly done to earn a banishment?” I blushed again. And I had no idea why I was opening up so much to him. He was rather outspoken and always taking everything for some sort of joke it seemed.
“I ran away from my bridegroom” I finally responded while peeping up at him and saw that he looked to be considering the ramifications of my embarrassing action. But while I was more concerned over the act of cowardice, he was focusing in on something else completely.
“And this is why Hallas called you a coward?”
“I… well… I…” I stammered a bit then pressed my lips together as the red hue continued to deepen in my cheeks. “well he knows about that… and well, yes that is part of why he accuses me of such”
“There is more?” He replied making me blush even harder. Hallas’ had seen the right of it, I had to admit it. Had been admitting it since he verbalized and exposed me. Orophin continued to wait, watching and waiting… but when I remained silent he suddenly added… “is there something between you two?”
I gasped and immediately started shaking my head quite emphatically. “What… No…” I squeaked out then cleared my throat and continued but my voice was shaky for sure. “Noo… that is ridiculous! Why would you think that!?”
“You seem to be quite agitated” he teased as he stepped closer. “I don’t mean to make you so anxious… especially while you are gripping my dagger so murderously…”
He was guessing at the nuances between Hallas and myself and that was not good. If he could tell, how many other people could tell? I had already accused the behaviors I acted upon when dealing with the smug white haired elf of being reckless. He was simply too dangerous. But when then couldn't I stay away from him. And having Orophin being so observant and identifying so effortlessly the impact Hallas was having on me was rather humiliating. I was a high-born elf, I should be able to maintain my cool better... I set about to ignore his comments about the arrogant elf.
“I am useless with weapons.” I muttered instead, finally, again sounding utterly despondent. I twisted the blade back around to offer it back to him.
“That certainly is not the proper way to hold it if you are attempting to make some sort of impact…”
Instead of taking the knife away he turned it back around and wrapped my fingers around the belly of the handle and stretching my thumb over the top until it latched over my forefinger. Then he eased the blade back after squeezing my wrist and ordering me to tighten it with the blade point angled upward.
“This is a hammer grip, if someone is coming at you and your blade is low you will thrust upward, straight and as hard as possible.” He stepped back and nodded his head watching me.
And so, I spent the afternoon listening to Orophin’s advice, learning the different ways to grip a blade, how to stand, how to swing and how to thrust. I was not sure how long we were out there, but I was feeling much better as the time passed, more confident, even though I was still making glaring mistakes.
“No… no not like that…” he muttered stepping over to me. Orophin stepped up behind me and wrapped his arms around me so that he could grip both of my hands in his and made a motion that caused both of our bodies to twist at the same time as he tried to teach me how to motion the blade into a position that he indicated would be most likely where someone’s throat might be or their rib cage. Which apparently were some of the very best places to aim when wielding a knife instead of a sword. I laughed softly after receiving praise for finally getting the positioning right with Orophin speaking beside my face instructing me through the movement. As luck would have it… my luck it seems, that was precisely the way we were found in the middle of our practice session.
“Well isn’t this cozy…”
I jerked and jumped at the interruption and if Orophin had not been already gripping my hand around the blade I may have dropped it completely after spinning around and seeing the unamused look in Hallas’ eyes.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded after my immediately and humiliating response to his presence. Tingles were racing all through my body while I tried to pretend that I was more focused on the grip of the blade I head once Orophin stepped back a bit.
“Your guards are frantically looking for you… it seems that in the middle of a city alert you are out galivanting the forests with the halfling here instead of letting your guards do their duty”
Unsurprisingly Orophin found the accusation amusing and laughed at Hallas’ very real irritation. I narrowed my gaze on him then turned a more scathing one on Hallas... “I am perfectly fine… Orophin is assisting me as you can see, and I was under the impression that he was just as skilled a warrior as any of my guards…”
“Oh, I can see that he is assisting you perfectly fine” the words were low and direct. Again, Orophin chuckled before starting to speak…
“You’ve totally gotten the wrong…” but I was too busy being irate to clue in on Orophin’s assumptions
“What exactly is that supposed to mean?? Do not disparage him for helping me when you would never…” My voice was raised, without me even realizing it. Hallas always got my emotions in an uproar “He has been gentle and careful teaching me what I needed to know and not calling me names and taunting me and being a big fat oaf”
He eyes shifted down my body and I looked as well seeing the numerous grass stains I had sustained from falling repeatedly long before Orophin had wandered up on me. I was embarrassed remembering how badly my attempts to perfect holding the blade had gone until I had some genuine help. I lifted my chin defiantly hating the shame I was feeling over my pitiful effort. But the animosity of his gaze made me break. I could not face it knowing that he thought so little of me.
“I am not a coward damn you!” I shouted and I rushed off, forgetting to give Orophin back his knife or thanking him for his help or gathering my pathetic child’s training toy.
I also I had no idea that my outburst drew such a look of confusion from Hallas that would have explained why he suddenly went completely speechless.
****************
The very next morning the horns and bells ringing through the town jolted me awake and I found that my guards were all rushing about gathering items and the majority of them were rushing out of the house in earnest.
“What is going on?” I murmured sleepily. I had not slept well, again.
Carmagor stood there looking stern and serious. “The battle horns announce that the orc army is within sight… the other guards have answered the call”
I gasped and immediately I raced upstairs and tugged on the least flashy dress I had and gripped Orophin’s blade that I still had. When I raced back to the lower level just as rapidly Carmagor looked completely flabbergasted.
“What do you think you are doing?” He demanded obviously dumbfounded.
“I am going to fight and if you try to stop me… I will relieve you from duty!” I spit out and darted past him before he could stop me.
Seconds… minutes later I was rushing into the crowd of fighters that had gathered around each other, several of them looking at me just as bewildered and shocked as my guard who, although he did not try to force me back to the house, he had come up and stood directly beside me obviously annoyed and stumped over what action he should take. I did not care, I would fight… I would not run away this time… it was time I stopped being a coward!
